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If someone were to ask you five years ago what Roseanne was up to these days, you’d be lost for words.  Recently, though, she emerged from whatever rock she was hiding underneath and is everywhere.  A Comedy Central roast, a new reality show, and oddly enough, a run for President.  But instead of focusing on any of those things, let’s discuss her hair style from 20 years ago.

You may not have known it, but Roseanne is Jewish. Sure, she’s one of those few and far between white trash Jews, but a Jew nonetheless. Don’t believe me?

Just look at her hair from 1988:

And 1990:

And 1992, when she was somehow Jewish AND Asian:

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For those of us who grew up in the 90s, Beverly Hills 90210 was pretty much the defining show of our generation.  Who didn’t idolize those rich kids from West Beverly High and tune in each week to see their latest drama.  And among us boys, there were heated discussions about whether Kelly or Brenda was hotter, becoming the “Ginger or Mary Ann?” debate of our generation. And if you liked Donna or Andrea (despite being the nice Jewish girl), there was something clearly wrong with you.

And as for the guys on the show, we all wanted to be just like Steve Sanders, played by the Jewish, yet inexplicably tan and blonde-haired, Ian Ziering. Though the character wasn’t Jewish, Steve was by far the best role model for pre-teen boys;  Brandon Walsh was a whiney goody-two-shoes, the brooding Dylan McKay tried too hard to be cool, and David Silver was just an annoying nerd obsessed with Tori Spelling.

Ian Ziering and the elusive blonde Jew-fro mullet.

Instead of those losers, we looked up to Steve and his zest for life, partying ways and constant womanizing, as masterfully portrayed by Mr. Ziering.  And though 90210 may have been the height of his career, he gave all of us Jewish kids with curly hair, even those with the rare case of a blonde Jew-fro, hope that we too might one day end up on the number one show in America. More than that, Ziering showed that we could finally play the cool kid, and not be stuck portraying a nerd like some more unfortunate people.

If only his Jew-fro was large enough to completely obscure Tori Spelling.

My heart really goes out to Larry Fine, known to millions as one-third of the Three Stooges.  While it’s hard enough getting through life as a Jew, he was also a ginger.  And once he got older, many of those Jewish/ginger follicles decided to close shop, leaving him with only half a head of hair.  And such an appearance, combined with the not-Jewish-sounding-at-all birth name of Louis Feinberg, prevented the aspiring actor from being given any serious roles.

But that awkward face and unkempt hair made him the perfect candidate to join a couple of fellow Jews in a vaudeville act known as the Three Stooges.  Since the name Curly was already taken by the bald one, our Louis Feinberg changed his name to the less Jewy, but no less goofy, Larry Fine. And while that was pretty much the only role he ever had, this stooge managed to cement his place as a legend in pop culture.  Not bad for a guy with a half a ginger Jew-fro!

You know how in movies and TV shows, people are always warned to stop picking on the nerdy kids because one day they’re gonna be rich and powerful?  While that is a load of BS most of the time, Mark Zuckerberg is the rare example of that prophesy coming true. But rich and powerful is a bit of an understatement when discussing the Zuck.  Not only is he a bajillionaire, but he has pretty much enslaved humanity through his little Facebook site.

What I find most fascinating about him is that he kept his Jew-fro.  While he could afford to get an angel’s hair transplanted onto his scalp, he still bears that coarse and curly hairstyle he’s had his whole life.  Then again, for all we know he had pure gold spun into those locks of his; it is the world’s richest Jew-fro after all.

That smug little smile tells me I’m right about the spun gold thing.

In our very first “Your Jew-Fro” entry, I’d like to introduce you to Rogelio. Despite not being Jewish, he has done more to advance the cause of Jewish men with curly hair than anyone else I know.  But enough from me, here he is to tell his story.

Hey guys,

My name is Rogelio and I am the man behind Manly Curls, the popular lifestyle site for curly haired men. Yes, I grow quite the jewfro when my hair is beyond 2 inches and it takes a whole 10 inches for my hair to hang down, which means I get to sport, naturally, a jewfro for about 2 years if I want to grow my hair and have it caressing my face (luscious locks ain’t just for women, you know).

I have been on a journey to master my curly hair for 10 years now, after I randomly got inspired (by a celebrity on TV) to do something about my curls. Ever since, I have had the chance to try and experiment with pretty much everything on my hair and the hair of others (learnt a lot!), and I am a firm believer that dudes with curly hair can have “cool” hair too, it just takes some tweaking. I write my own content (as in, I don’t copy/imitate others, I literally sit down, brainstorm and create everything from scratch) and I take the whole curly hair thing as half fun/half serious. Us curly dudes need knowledge without having to become “hair divas”, as I like to say.

My hobbies include writing, picking up heavy stuff shirtless, jumping on airplanes to bizarre destinations and eating donuts (when no one is looking). I am also bilingual and can have some weird conversations in French as well as mumble a few phrases in Arabic.

So yeah, pass by Manly Curls, say hi, and keep those luscious locks, well, manly!

All the best.

Rogelio

http://www.manlycurls.com/about-the-author/

P.S Thanks to AJ for putting me in his blog, keep rocking, sir!

If you’d like see your pic and story up here, drop me a line at JewHyphenFro@gmail.com.  And be sure to check out my interview at manlycurls.com!